Once upon a time there was a mushroom. It was a very clever mushroom, because it had pockets. It had a Zippo lighter and a book of chemistry in its pocket, also a book of Celts. And the mushroom was portable.
It was a mushroom in a forest, and it lived in a field of mushrooms. One day it met a leprechaun, who gave it gold. It then bought a sausage.
It then ate the sausage, and got cut down to be used as medicine.