since you came
I have had
no home
no peace
no safety
no place
to be myself
at least
by myself
no joy
no freedom
no spontaneity ....
a grey cloud
covers the sun
shadow
without rain ....
judgment
without understanding
condemnation
without forgiveness ....
in this narrow place
my blood runs grey and sluggish
- and as for you ....
.... and you are hurting too ....
in that love
which always
will be there
so that if you turn it aside
of course it will turn aside
yet in that turning aside
it will not by that turning aside
be turned aside
I remain ....
when I say
I am not yet ready to crawl
and again
after so little stimulation
already there is so much invasion
then
in the tears that are here now
I find I have said
all that I can say ....
and trust
that your hearing me exactly
will (of course and necessarily)
be a hearing
more
differently
better
and from a porous heart ....
in my belonging
is my peace
in my unknowing
is my path
each living being walking
step by step
together and differently
in harmonious anarchy ....
13th June 2000